How to Change Your Relationship with Money

For many women, money isn't just about numbers in a bank account or a paycheck at the end of the month. It's about freedom, security, and often a deeply personal sense of worth. However, our relationship with money is shaped by a complex web of societal expectations, personal experiences, and family histories. And for many, navigating this relationship can be a source of stress and anxiety.

If you've ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed by financial decisions, stuck in a cycle of debt, or uncertain about how to manage your money effectively, you're not alone. Financial stress is a leading cause of anxiety for women today, but the good news is that with the right mindset and strategies, you can transform your relationship with money and start building the financial future you deserve.

In this blog post, we'll explore insights from financial psychologists—professionals who help people understand and change the emotional and behavioral patterns around money. Whether you're looking to improve your financial health, build wealth, or simply feel more in control of your finances, these tips can help guide you toward a healthier and more empowered relationship with money.

Understand Your Money Story

One of the first things a financial psychologist will encourage you to do is reflect on your "money story." This is the narrative you've built around money throughout your life. It’s shaped by your upbringing, experiences, cultural background, and the messages you received from your family and society about wealth, spending, saving, and earning.

For many women, money stories may include phrases like “Money is hard to come by,” or “It’s greedy to want more,” or “I’m not good with money.” These deep-seated beliefs can shape the way you interact with finances today.

Tip: Rewrite Your Money Story
Reflect on the messages you received growing up. Were you taught that money was a source of stress or security? Did you see women in your life in control of their financial destinies, or were they financially dependent on others? Take time to write down these stories, then consciously rewrite them. Affirmations like “I am capable of managing and growing my wealth” or “Money is a tool for achieving my goals” can help you reshape your thinking.

Address Emotional Spending

Emotions often play a significant role in how we manage (or mismanage) our finances. Many women use money to cope with stress, celebrate success, or fill emotional voids. This is known as emotional spending. While retail therapy may feel good in the short term, it can lead to regret, debt, and long-term financial insecurity.

Tip: Pause Before Spending
The next time you're tempted to make an impulsive purchase, pause and ask yourself: "Am I buying this because I truly need it, or because I'm feeling a certain way?" By identifying the emotional triggers behind your spending habits, you can start making more intentional financial choices.

It may also help to find healthier alternatives to cope with emotions. Instead of shopping to relieve stress, consider going for a walk, meditating, or calling a friend.

Set Financial Boundaries

Just as you set boundaries in personal relationships, it’s important to set financial boundaries. This can be especially challenging for women, who are often socialized to be nurturers and caretakers, sometimes at the expense of their own financial well-being. Whether it's lending money to friends or family or feeling pressured to spend on social occasions, setting limits is crucial to maintaining financial health.

Tip: Practice Saying No
It’s okay to say no when asked to lend money or participate in expensive activities. Protecting your financial health doesn’t mean you care less about others; it means you’re prioritizing your long-term stability. Develop a script for these situations, such as, “I’d love to help, but I’m focused on meeting my financial goals right now.”

Develop a Growth Mindset About Money

Many people believe that their financial situation is fixed and unchangeable. This mindset can keep you stuck in a pattern of financial frustration. A growth mindset, on the other hand, is the belief that you can improve your financial skills and situation through effort and learning.

Tip: Educate Yourself
Learning about personal finance is one of the best ways to empower yourself. Take the time to read books, listen to podcasts, or attend workshops on budgeting, investing, and financial planning. Understanding the basics can help you make more informed decisions and feel more confident in managing your money.

You don’t have to be a financial expert to start building wealth. Start small—open a savings account, begin investing in a low-cost index fund, or speak with a financial advisor about your long-term goals.

Cultivate Gratitude for What You Have

It’s easy to get caught up in the comparison game, especially when social media often presents a curated view of wealth and success. But constantly focusing on what you don’t have can lead to feelings of scarcity and inadequacy. A scarcity mindset makes it harder to build wealth because it keeps you in a cycle of fear and anxiety around money.

Tip: Practice Gratitude
Take time to appreciate what you already have—whether it’s a roof over your head, food on your table, or the ability to save even a small amount each month. Gratitude helps shift your focus from scarcity to abundance and can foster a healthier, more positive relationship with money.

Prioritize Self-Care in Your Financial Plan

For many women, financial goals like saving for retirement or building an emergency fund get pushed to the backburner in favor of taking care of others. But the truth is, prioritizing your financial self-care is one of the best ways to ensure long-term stability and security for both yourself and those you care about.

Tip: Automate Your Savings
One simple way to prioritize your financial health is to automate your savings. Set up automatic transfers to a savings or retirement account each month, so you’re consistently building toward your financial goals without having to think about it. Treat saving like paying a bill—something that’s non-negotiable.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you’re struggling to manage debt, budget effectively, or make sense of your financial goals, it’s okay to ask for help. Financial psychologists, planners, and advisors can offer guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you work through any psychological or emotional roadblocks you may be facing.

Tip: Find a Trusted Financial Advisor
When seeking professional help, look for someone who not only has the credentials and expertise but also understands your unique financial goals and values. Many financial professionals specialize in working with women and can offer personalized advice based on your needs.

Celebrate Financial Wins

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate your progress! Whether you've paid off a credit card, reached a savings milestone, or learned a new financial skill, it’s important to recognize and celebrate these accomplishments. Celebrating small victories keeps you motivated and reinforces positive money behaviors.

Tip: Set Rewards for Milestones
Set financial milestones for yourself and reward yourself when you reach them. It doesn’t have to be extravagant—maybe it’s treating yourself to a nice dinner or taking a day off to relax and recharge. The key is to acknowledge your progress and feel good about the financial strides you’re making.



Changing your relationship with money is a journey, and like any other transformation, it takes time, self-reflection, and consistent effort. By understanding the emotional and psychological factors behind your financial decisions and adopting healthier money habits, you can build a more empowered, confident, and sustainable financial future. Take small steps, be patient with yourself, and remember—you’re in control of your financial destiny.