My Identity Crisis

If you were to ask my peers to describe me you might hear a variety of things: reserved, funny, kind, dependable, and adventurous… but the thought of how I might be perceived hosts a series of questions. Who am I? Do I live up to external expectations? What is my purpose? What legacy do I leave?

I am a victim of Disney movies. I grew up thinking life had a strict path and happiness was one size fits all. When life didn’t turn out as expected, I was extremely hard on myself.

To be honest, I’ve struggled with being single. I can’t think of a Disney princess that is single.

It took me a while to really explore who I am as an individual. I had certainly reflected on the topic before but, it wasn’t until I was very single that I was able to solidify the meaning of who I am. In fact, being single was necessary to realizing my identity.

My singlehood certainly gave me a sense of independence but it also made me aware that I was not influenced by another human being. During this discovery, I only did the things I genuinely wanted to do. I realized that I did indeed enjoy things like football, and not just because someone else took interest in it.

I mention my struggle with being unmarried because I believe our identity tends to be ingrained in a particular role (mother, firefighter, athlete, etc.) or how we are influenced by society. We forget that we are not tied to one defining thing; we are multidimensional.

I believe knowing who you are as an individual is important. It gives you the ability to be self-aware, knowing what impact you leave on people. It helps to strengthen your values, builds confidence, and it gives life meaning.

Along the way, I have learned that I am many things. I am a leader, an overachiever, and oddly obsessed with shoes. What is important to me is family, gratitude, and kindness.

I enjoy nature, hiking, and a hammock. I also enjoy sporting events, live music, brunch, and traveling.

While I do still desire to share my life with someone, I am grateful for this experience… and I think the experience has made me a better person overall.